My Greatest Success in Life so Far

There are many accomplishments that I am proud of in my life and many things that I am still trying to do better at. I would say that my greatest success in life so far is coming to a place in my life where I can honestly forgive someone who has done me wrong and let it go, rather than holding a grudge. When I was younger, maybe even not so many years ago, if someone were to do me even a little bit wrong, I would hold it against them forever. I felt the hurt and hate throughout my entire body with everything I had. And if you dared try to move on like nothing had happened? You would feel the cold lack of forgiveness. For whoever had the nerve to do harm to me, intentionally or not, you would be cut out for the emotional pain I had endured, because I didn't need them if they were going to be so negligent with my heart. I've dropped every friend I've ever had and cut off emotional ties to those I had been close to. I felt so much hurt and anger that I didn't know what to do with it all. Honestly, I was suffering and felt very alone.

Eventually, I decided I didn't want to live that way anymore. I needed to heal, and in order to do that I needed to forgive everyone else for what they had done to me. Some actions were easier to forgive than others. I realized that it can be very difficult to forgive others who had caused so much pain and didn't understand or weren't willing to acknowledge the impact that their actions had on me. In fact, sometimes this reopened some old wounds that weren't quite healed all the way to begin with. It took a lot of work and patience, but eventually I got to a point where I could forgive those who were more difficult to forgive. The more I learned about psychology, the more I learned that some of what caused my pain were thinking errors and part of it was that some people didn't comprehend the damage that would come from their actions.

Now, when people do me wrong, even when it is REALLY wrong, I remind myself that I can experience my emotions and set boundaries, but holding a grudge will only increase my suffering. People behave the way they do for a reason. And while that doesn't excuse their hurtful actions, it can help create understanding of why they did it. Depending on what is done and by whom, I now often choose to forgive people and move past it. Under some circumstances, I choose to forgive the person for what they did, but rather than continuing to maintain the relationship, I determine that things can not be repaired and move on while holding no feelings of resentment towards them. What I've noticed? I'm much happier! The world seems like a better place with people who sometimes make mistakes. I don't feel nearly as weighed down by negative emotions as I did before. I go on with my life and sincerely wish the best for others who may have done me wrong, even if I wish to never see them again.